Looking for cauldron full of Witch Jokes ?
What is evil, ugly and black and goes round and round ?
A witch in a revolving door !
What is evil and ugly on the inside and green on the outside ?
A witch dressed as a cucumber !
Why did the baby witch smile when she came out in blotches ?
Because it was an ‘appy rash !
Broom sick !
Where did the witch get her furniture ?
From the ideal gnome exhibition !
Why did the witch put her broom in the wash ?
She wanted a clean sweep !
What has handles and flies ?
A witch in a dustbin !
What is evil and ugly and bounces ?
A witch on a trampoline !
What name did the witch give to her cooking pot ?
It was called-Ron !
How do witches lose weight ?
They join weight witches!
How can you tell when a witch is really ugly ?
When a wasp stings her it closes his eyes !
Why did the witch go over the mountain ?
Because she couldn’t go under it !
How can you tell an Italian witch from an English one ?
By her suntan !
What is evil, ugly and goes at 125 mph ?
A witch on a high speed train !
Do you want to walk home or shall we take the broom !
What is a witches favorite book ?
Broom at the top !
What’s the best way of seeing a witch ?
On the television !
What did the witch write in her Christmas card ?
Best vicious of the season !
What happened to the witch with an upside down nose ?
Every time she sneezed her hat blew off !
What happened when the baby witch was born ?
It was so ugly its parents ran away from home !
What is old and ugly and can see just as well from both ends ?
A witch with a blindfold !
Why did the witch join the football club ?
Because she heard they were looking for a new sweeper !
What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites ?
Don’t bite any witches !
What should you expect if you drop in on a witches home unexpectedly ?
Pot luck !
Why did the witch have pedestrian eyes ?
They looked both ways before they crossed !
What does a witch do if her broom is stolen ?
She calls the flying squad !
What is old and ugly and goes beep beep ?
A witch in a traffic jam !
Why did the witch wear yellow stockings ?
Because her grey ones were at the cleaners !
What goes cackle, cackle, squelch, squelch ?
A witch in soggy shoes !
What happens to witches when it rains ?
They get wet !
What is black, old & ugly and has four wheels ?
A witch on a skateboard !
What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch ?
A bird that’s ugly but doesn’t give a hoot !
Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist ?
Because she thought everybody loved her !
What do you call a witch that stays out all night ?
A fresh air freak !
What do you get if you cross a witch and an iceberg ?
A cold spell !
What is the favourite subject of young witches at school ?
Why did the witch consult an astrologer ?
She wanted to know her horror-scope !
Because it’s quicker than walking !
What’s a witches favorite film ?
My Fear Lady !
Why do witches get good bargains ?
Because they like to haggle !
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch ?
One’s a hunted stag and the other is a stunted hag !
What are baby witches called ?
What do you call a witches motor bike ?
A baaaarrrroooooooommmm stick !
What happened when the old witch went to see a funny film ?
The manager told her to cut the cackle !
What happens to a witch when she loses her temper when riding her broom ?
She flies off the handle !
What kind of tests do they give in witch school ?
What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire ?
A very witch person !
B-room service !
Who’s the fastest witch ?
The ones that ride on a vroom stick !
How do you know when you are in bed with a witch ?
She has a big “W” embroidered on her pyjamas !
When should you feed witches milk to a baby ?
When it’s a baby witch !
What do you call a wich made of cotton and has lots of holes in her ?
A string hag !
What should you do if you find a witch in your bed ?
What sound does a witch make when she cries ?
“Brew-hoo, Brew-hoo” !
Why should men beware of beautiful witches ?
They’ll sweep them off their feet !
How does a witch make scrambled eggs ?
She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright !
Where is the witches temple ?
On each side of her head !
What’s yellow and very poisonous ?
Witch infested custard !
What does a witch enjoy cooking most ?
How do warty witches keep their hair out of place ?
With scare spray !
Why is “S” the witches favorite letter ?
Because he turns cream into scream !
What do you call a witch that flies in Concorde ?
What is evil and ugly, puts spells on people and is made of leaves ?
A witch (The leaves were just a plant) !
What do you do if a witch in a pointy hat sits in front of you at the cinema ?
Miss most of the film !
Why is a witches face like a million dollars ?
It’s all green and wrinkly !
Why did the witches go on strike ?
They wanted sweeping reforms !
Who went into a witch’s den and came out alive ?
The witch !
What is evil, ugly and keep the neighbors awake ?
A witch with a drum kit !
Why do witches have stiff joints ?
They get broomatism
Who turns the lights off at halloween ?
The light’s witch !
What did the witch say to the ugly toad ?
“I’d put a curse on you but it looks like someone already beat me to it” !
What’s the best advice you can give to a witch on a broomstick ?
Don’t fly off the handle !
What is a witches favorite magazine ?
The witch report !
An itchy witchy !
What’s a cold, evil candle called ?
The wicked wick of the north !
What happens if you see twin witches ?
You won’t be able to see which witch is witch !
Why did the witch give up fortune telling ?
There was no future in it !
How did the witch almost lose her baby ?
She didn’t take it far enough into the woods !
Why did the stupid witch keep her clothes in the fridge ?
She liked to have something cool to slip into in the evenings !
How did the witch feel after she was run over by a car ?
What has six legs and flies ?
A witch giving her cat a ride !
What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital ?
With any luck you’ll soon be well enough to get up for a spell !
What do witches race on ?
Why do witches scratch themselves all the time ?
Because they’re the only ones who know where a witch itches !
Why did the witch wear a green felt pointy hat ?
So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen !
How do witches tell the time ?
By looking at their witch watches !
What’s the best way of talking to a warty witch ?
By telephone !
How is the witches team doing ?
They’re having a spell in the first division !
Have you heard about the good weather witch ?
She’s forecasting sunny spells !
What’s the witches favourite pop group ?
Broomski Beat !
What makes more noise than an angry witch ?
Two angry witches !
What do you get if you cross a flea and a witch ?
Very worried dogs !
What do little witches like to play at school ?
Bat’s cradle !
What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter ?
The producer said that she had the perfect face for radio !
What kind of music do witches play on the piano ?
What do witches eat for breakfast ?
Rice krispies. Because they snap at them !
What do witches eat for dinner ?
Real toad in the hole !
What do witches sing at Christmas ?
“Deck the halls with poison ivy….” !
What is old, ugly and blue ?
A witch holding it’s breath !
What do you call a witch that climbs up walls ?
Why was the witch late for the party ?
She’d lost her witch-watch !
Why is a witch like a candle ?
They are both wicked !
Why did the witch keep turning into Mickey Mouse ?
She kept having Disney spells !
What usually runs in witches’ families ?
What goes cackle, cackle, boom?
A witch in a minefield !
What do you call an old hag who lives by the sea ?
A sandwitch !
What is the difference between a musician and a dead witch ?
One composes and the other decomposes !
Why won’t a witch wear a flat caps ?
Because there is no point in it !
What’s a witches favourite flower ?
A triffid !
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween ?
Because there are so many witches sweeping the sky !
What do you call a witch by the side of the road with her thumb out ?
A witchhiker !
What is the difference between a witch and the letters M A K E S ?
One make spells and the other spell makes !
What do little witches do after school ?
Their gnomework !
What is a witches favourite drink ?
What do witches say when they overtake each other ?
Broom, broom, broom !
Why did the young witch have such difficulty writing letters ?
She had never learnt to spell properly !
What goes cackle, cackle, bonk?
A witch laughing her head off !
How can you tell if a witch has a glass eye ?
When it comes out in conversation !
What is the witches motto ?
We came, we saw, we conjured !
How do you make a witch itch ?
Take away the “w” !
What do you call a nervous witch ?
A twitch !
How do witches on broomsticks drink their tea ?
Out of flying saucers !
Where do witches keep their purses ?
In hag bags !
Why do witches fly on broomsticks ?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy !
What kind of jewellry do warty witches wear on their wrists ?
Charm bracelets !
Why didn’t the witch sing at the concert ?
Because she had a frog in her throat !
What do you call a witch who drives really badly ?
A road hag !
What happened to the naughtly little witch at school ?
She was ex-spelled !
Why did the witch buy two tickets to the zoo ?
One to get in and one to get out !
Is it true that a witch won’t hurt you if you run away from her ?
It all depends on how fast you run !
What do you call a witch who murders her mum and dad ?
An orphan !
Why do some witches eat raw meat ?
Because they don’t know how to cook !
How do you make a witch float ?
What do baby witches play with ?
Deady bears !
When can you tell when witches are carrying a time bomb ?
You can hear their brooms tick !
What do you call a pretty and friendly witch ?
A failure !
Why are witches fingernails never longer than 11 inches ?
Because if they were 12 inches they’d be a foot !
What does a witch turn when the lights go out ?
The dark !
Why do witches go to the docks ?
To see the bats being launched !
What’s evil and ugly and goes up and down all day ?
A witch stuck in a lift !
What do you call a witch you likes the beach but is scared of the water ?
A chicken sandwitch !
What do you call two witches who share a broom sticks ?
Broom mates !
What do witches use pencil sharpeners for ?
To keep their hats pointed !
When a witch falls into a pond what is the first thing that she does ?
Get wet !
What did the young witch say to her mother ?
Can I have the keys to the broom tonight !
Why do witches wear pointy black hats ?
To keep their heads warm !
Why do witches only ride their brooms after dark ?
That’s the time to go to sweep !
Whats the difference between a broomstick and a pumpkin ?
Ever tried broomstick pie ? !
Who went into a witche’s den and came out alive ?
The witch !