Halloween Jokes

Looking for a bone then try these Skeleton Jokes.

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party ?

He had no body to go with !

What’s a skeleton’s favourite musical instrument ?

A trom-bone !

What do you call a skeleton who acts in Westerns ?

Skint Eastwood !

What is a skeletons favourite drink ?

Milk – it’s so good for the bones !

What happened to the lazy skeleton ?

He was bone idle !

What happened to the skeleton who was swallowed by a big fish ?

He had a whale of a time !

Why wasn’t the naughty skeleton afraid of the police ?

Because he knew they couldn’t pin anything on him !

Why do skeletons hate winter ?

Because the wind just goes straight through them !

What did the old skeleton complain of ?

Aching bones !

What do you call a skeleton that is always telling lies ?

A boney phoney !

What happened when the skeletons rode pogo sticks ?

They had a rattling good time !

How do skeletons call their friends ?

On the telebone !

What happened to the boat that sank in the sea full of piranha fish ?

It came back with a skeleton crew !

Why did the skeleton stay out in the snow all night ?

He was a numbskull !

Why did the skeleton pupil stay late at school ?

He was boning up for his exams !

Why did the skeleton run up a tree ?

Because a dog was after his bones !

How do skeletons get their mail ?

By bony express !

What’s a skeleton’s favorite vegetable ?

Marrow !

What is a skeleton ?

Somebody on a diet who forgot to say “when” !

Why didn’t the skeleton want to play football ?

Because his heart wasn’t in it !

Why did the skeleton go to hospital ?

To have his ghoul stones removed !

What do you call a skeleton who won’t get up in the mornings ?

Lazy bones !

What do you call a skeleton snake ?

A rattler !

What do you call a stupid skeleton ?
Bonehead !

What sort of soup do skeletons like ?

One with plenty of body in it !

Why do you have to wait so long for a ghost train to come along ?

Because they only run a skeleton service !

Why don’t skeletons play music in church ?

They have no organs !

What’s a skeleton’s favorite pop group ?

Boney M !

What happened to the skeleton that was attacked by a dog ?

He ran off with some bones and didn’t leave him with a leg to stand on !

What happened to the skeleton who went to a party ?

All the others used him as a coat rack !

How did the skeleton know it was going to rain ?

He could feel it in his bones !

What do boney people use to get into their homes ?

Skeleton keys !

Which skeleton wears a kilt ?

Boney Prince Charlie !

What happened to the skeleton who stayed by the fire too long ?

He became bone dry !

What do you call a skeleton doctor ?

Bones !

What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend ?

I love every bone in your body !

What kind of plate does a skeleton eat off ?

Bone china !

What do you do if you see a skeleton running across a road ?

Jump out of your skin and join him !

Why are skeletons so calm ?

Because nothing gets under their skin !

What do you call a skeleton who presses the door bell ?

A dead ringer !