Archive for the ‘Kids Halloween Jokes’ Category

Halloween Jokes For Kids

Halloween Jokes For Kids

Kids Halloween Jokes


Kids Halloween Jokes

Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?

Because they were trans-parents!

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

Dayscare centers!

How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch!

What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?

Boo-ties!

What does a hungry ghost want?

Ice scream!

How do you make a witch itch?

Take away her w!

Why are graveyards so noisy?

Because of all the coffin!

What do you call a fat Jack-O-Lantern?

A plumpkin!

Why don’t mummies take vacations?

They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind!

What happened to the guy who didn’t pay his exorcist?

He was repossessed!

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?

No body!

How do monsters count to 13?

On their fingers!

Why did the skeleton go the party?

For a rattling good time!

What do you call an angry monster?

Sir!

When do werewolves go trick or treating?

Howl-oween!

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?

His ghoul friend!

Where do ghosts pick up their mail?

At the ghost office!

What do you give a vampire with a cold?

Coffin Drops!

What can’t you give the headless horseman?

A headache!

Why did Dracula take cold medicine?

To stop his coffin.

Where does a ghost go on vacation?

Mali-boo.

Why did the witch travel on a broom?

She couldn’t afford a Vacuum Cleaner.

What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost as they drove down the street?

Buckle your sheet belt!

What did one vampire say to the other?

Fangs aren’t what they used to be!

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?

Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?

Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

What do witches use in their hair?

Scare-spray!

What instrument do skeleton play?

Trom-BONE!

What songs does Dracula hate?

“You Are My Sunshine” and “Sunshine on my Shoulders.

Who does Dracula get letters from?

His fang club!

When does a ghost have breakfast?

In the moaning.

What do they teach in witching school?

Spelling!

What did the corpse’ mom do when her son was bad?

Ground him!

Where do vampires keep their money?

The blood bank!

What do you call a vampire that’s always feeling peckish?

Snackula!

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in people?

Who comes out at night and goes “Munch, munch, ouch!”

A vampire with a rotten tooth!

Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!

Where do spooky monsters water ski?

On Lake Erie!

What kind of mistakes do spooky ghosts make?

Boo boos!

What kind of key does a skeleton use?

A skeleton key!

What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?

It’s a pain in the neck!

What do ghosts eat for breakfast?

Boo-Berries!

What is a vampires favorite place on the web?

www.halloweenjokes.net!

Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party?

He had no body to dance with.

What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?

He got ticks!

What runs around a cemetery but doesn’t move?

A fence!

Why did it take the monster ten months to finish a book?

Because he wasn’t very hungry.

Why didn’t Dracula get married?

He never met a nice Ghoul!

How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?

Give him screws.

How does a girl vampire flirt?

She bats her eyes.

Why do vampires scare people?

They are bored of death!

What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.

Sour-puss!

What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?

A toasty ghosty!

Where did the goblin throw the football?

Over the ghoul line!

What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?

A boo-tie!

What do you call a little monsters parents

Mummy and deady!

Which building does Dracula visit in New York?

The Vampire State Building!

Why was the ghost such a messy eater?

Because he was always a goblin.

Why do girl ghosts go on diets?

So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

What do ghosts eat for dinner?

Spookgetti!

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

A sand-witch!

What’s a vampire’s favorite candy?

A sucker!

Why does Dracula consider himself a good artist?

Because he likes to draw blood!

What do goblins mail home while on vacation?

Ghostcards!

What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?

Spare ribs!

When does a skeleton laugh?

When something tickles his funny bone!

Where do mummies go for a swim?

To the dead sea!

Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?

He didn’t have a haunting license!

What kind of dog does Dracula have?

A Bloodhound!

What do monsters call human beings?

Breakfast, lunch and dinner!

What does a witch ask for when she goes to a hotel?

Broom service!


Funny Halloween Jokes | Funny Ghost Jokes

Wizard Jokes

Wizard Jokes

Looking for some magic Wiard Jokes?

Wizard Jokes - Halloween Jokes

What do you call a wizard from outer space ?

A flying sorcerer !

Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party ?

He was going as a banana !

What do wizards do to get their kicks ?

They drool over the pictures in “witch” magazine !

What happened when the wizard turned a boy into a hare ?

He’s still rabbiting on about it !

What did the wizard say to his witch girlfriend ?

Hello gore-juice !


What do wizards stop for on the motorway ?

Witchhikers !

What do you get if you cross a river with an inflatable wizard ?

To the other side !

What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a wizard ?

Tyrannosaurus hex !

What do you call a wizard lying in the gutter ?

Dwayne !

Who did the wizard marry ?

His ghoul-friend !

Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day ?

To prevent bat breath !
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What happened to the wizard who ran away with the circus ?

The police made him bring it back again !

What must a wizard be to receive a state funeral ?

Dead !

What kinds of wizards can jump higher than a bus ?

All of them, busses don’t jump !

If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be ?

Out for the count !

What happened when the wizard drank a bottle of lemonade ?

He burped 7-Up !

What happened to the stupid wizard who put in his false teeth back to front ?

He ate himself !

What happened to the wizard who brushed his teeth with gunpowder ?

He kept shooting his mouth off !

Why did the wizard where red, white and blue braces ?

To keep his trousers up !

What’s the first thing that a wizard does in the morning ?

He wakes up !

Why do cats prefer wizards to witches ?

Because the sorcerers often have milk in them !

Why did the wizard jump off the top of the Empire State Building ?

He wanted to make a hit on Broadway !

What do you call a wizard who’s black and blue all over ?

Bruce !

What do you call a wizard who lies on the floor ?

Matt !

How do you keep a wizard in suspense ?

I’ll tell you tomorrow… !

What kinds of wizards have their eyes closest together ?

The smallest ones !

What do you call a wizard who has fallen into the sea on a barrel ?

Bob !

What do you call a warlock who tries to stop fights ?

A peacelock !

What happened when the wizard met the witch ?

It was love at first fright !

What would happen if you threw lots of eggs at a wizard ?

He would be egg-sterminated !

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