Archive for the ‘Halloween Jokes’ Category

Jack-o-Lantern Jokes

Jack-o-Lantern Jokes

Jack-O-Lantern Jokes For Halloween

Why was the Jack-o-Lantern all cut up?

It was Halloween!

Why were the two pumpkins so close?

They had deep roots!

Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road?

It had no guts!

How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween?

Pump kin!

Why Pumpkins are better than Men?

Each year you get a brand new crop to choose from.  Also, pumpkins are always on the doorstep there waiting to greet you.

What did a mad pumpkin say to his enemy?

I’ll stem on your foot!

What kind of romances do pumpkins have?


How do you repair a broken Jack-o-lantern?

Buy a pumpkin patch!

Why do pumpkins never quarrel?

Because they have no stomach for fighting.

When asked how he was, what did the pumpkin reply?

I’m vine, thank you.

What do you call a fat Jack-o-Lantern?

A Plumpkin!

What did one Jack-o-lantern say to the other?

Cut it out!

Why is it call a Jack-o-Lantern?

Jill rolled down the hill!

What did the pumpkin say after Halloween?


What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving?

Yummy Pie!

What did one Jack-o-Lantern say to the other on Halloween?

I’m feeling all warm inside tonight!

What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi  (3.1428571428571428571428571428571)

What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?


Pumpkin One – I’m a Jack-o- Lantern!

Pumpkin Two – No your just some pumpkin that has just had a face cut out.

Pumpkin One – I’m so cut.

What did one Jack-o-Lantern say to the other?

Got a light!

Why do Jack-o-lanterns have stupid smiles on their faces?

You’d have a stupid smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!

Why do Jack-o-Lanterns scoop out their brains before Halloween?

So the zombies don’t eat them!

What does a pumpkin pie say after a big meal?

That was filling.

What does a pumpkin sew?

A Pumpkin Patch!


Black Cat Jokes | Werewolf Jokes

Spider Jokes

Halloween Spider Jokes

Spider Jokes

Spider Jokes For Halloween

What does a spider do when he gets angry?

He goes up the wall!

What kind of doctors are like spiders?

Spin doctors!

Funny Spider JokesWhat are spiders webs good for?


What did the spider say when he broke his new web?

Darn it!

What did the spider say to the fly?

We’re getting married do you want to come to the webbing?

Why did the spider buy a car?

So he could take it out for a spin!

What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late?

Your spinning me a yarn here!

What is a spiders favourite TV show?

The newly web game!

What is red and dangerous?

Strawberry and tarantula jelly!

What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose?

I’m not sure, but I wouldn’t try smelling it!

Spider Jokes - Halloween Jokes

How do you spot a modern spider?

He doesn’t have a web he had a website!

What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses?

If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!

Why are spiders good swimmers?

They have webbed feet!

What do you call a big irish spider?

Paddy long legs!


What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant?

I’m not sure, but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses!

What do you call a 100 spiders on a tyre?

A spinning wheel!


What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad?

It became a daddy short legs!

What do spiders eat in Paris?

French flies!

Why did the spider buy a computer?

She wanted a website!

Halloween Spider Jokes

Why didn’t the spider just become a domainer?

It wanted a website!

Why do spiders craw the internet?

They are looking for fresh content!

What did one spider say to another?

“Time’s fun when you’re having flies!”

Why do spiders spin webs?

Because they can’t knit!

Why did the spider sit down beside Miss Muffet?

To find out what the hell was a tuffet!

Why do spiders make good baseball players?

They know how to catch flies!

What’s a spiders favorite number?


Why are spiders more powerful than Google?

They run the web!

Best Spider Jokes

Why are spiders fitter than a marathon run?

They run the web 24-7!


What did the spider say to the ghost?

Stop scaring the flies away.

What did the spider say to the fly on Halloween?

The web is the trick and you are the Treat!

What are the most popular sports for spiders?

Rafting down rain pipes and then climbing back up again!

Why do spiders dislike spiderman?

Because he’s not really a killer!



Scarecrow Jokes | Mummy Jokes



Halloween Jokes
Buy Ads Here
Tinkerbell Outfits
Costumes Coupon Codes
Halloween Jokes
Halloween Jokes Site Sponsor
Halloween Advertisments