Archive for the ‘Halloween Monster Jokes’ Category

Zombie Jokes

Zombie Jokes


Just drop dead with these funny Zombie Jokes!

Zombie Jokes - Halloween Jokes

What happened when a vicar saw a zombie with nothing on his neck?

He made a bolt for it.

Who do zombie cowboys flight?

Deadskins.

What did the zombie’s friend say when he introduced him to his girlfriend?

Good grief! Where did you dig her up from?

Where do zombies go for cruises?

The Deaditerranean.

What did the zombie get his medal for?

Deadication.

What happened to the zombie who had a bad cold?

He said, “I’m dead-up wid fuddy jokes aboud zomdies.”

What do little zombies play?

Corpses and Robbers.

How do you know a zombie is tired?

He’s dead on his feet.

Why did the zombie go to hospital?

He wanted to learn, a few sick jokes.

Funny Zombie Jokes - Halloween JokesWhat do you calf zombies in a belfry?

Dead ringers.

What do you find in a zombie’s veins?

Dead blood corpuscles.

What’s a zombie say when he gets a letter from his girlfriend?

It’s a dead-letter day.

Why was the zombie’s nightclub a disaster?

It was a dead and alive hole.

Why do zombies learn Latin and Greek?

Because they like dead languages.

What did the zombie’s friend say when he introduced him to his girlfriend?

Good grief! Where did you dig her up from?


Why did they find a disembodied head inside of a piano?

A zombie forgot it when he was trying to play by ear.

What has a Dogs Head, a Cats tail, and brains all over its face?

A Zombie coming out of the pet store.

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?

No, they eat the fingers separately…

Funny Halloween Cartoon Jokes | Funny Witch Jokes

Spider Jokes

Halloween Spider Jokes

Spider Jokes


Spider Jokes For Halloween

What does a spider do when he gets angry?

He goes up the wall!

What kind of doctors are like spiders?

Spin doctors!

Funny Spider JokesWhat are spiders webs good for?

Spiders!

What did the spider say when he broke his new web?

Darn it!

What did the spider say to the fly?

We’re getting married do you want to come to the webbing?

Why did the spider buy a car?

So he could take it out for a spin!

What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late?

Your spinning me a yarn here!

What is a spiders favourite TV show?

The newly web game!

What is red and dangerous?

Strawberry and tarantula jelly!

What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose?

I’m not sure, but I wouldn’t try smelling it!

Spider Jokes - Halloween Jokes

How do you spot a modern spider?

He doesn’t have a web he had a website!

What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses?

If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!

Why are spiders good swimmers?

They have webbed feet!

What do you call a big irish spider?

Paddy long legs!

 

What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant?

I’m not sure, but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses!

What do you call a 100 spiders on a tyre?

A spinning wheel!

 

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad?

It became a daddy short legs!

What do spiders eat in Paris?

French flies!

Why did the spider buy a computer?

She wanted a website!

Halloween Spider Jokes

Why didn’t the spider just become a domainer?

It wanted a website!

Why do spiders craw the internet?

They are looking for fresh content!

What did one spider say to another?

“Time’s fun when you’re having flies!”


Why do spiders spin webs?

Because they can’t knit!

Why did the spider sit down beside Miss Muffet?

To find out what the hell was a tuffet!

Why do spiders make good baseball players?

They know how to catch flies!

What’s a spiders favorite number?

Eight!

Why are spiders more powerful than Google?

They run the web!

Best Spider Jokes

Why are spiders fitter than a marathon run?

They run the web 24-7!

 

What did the spider say to the ghost?

Stop scaring the flies away.

What did the spider say to the fly on Halloween?

The web is the trick and you are the Treat!

What are the most popular sports for spiders?

Rafting down rain pipes and then climbing back up again!

Why do spiders dislike spiderman?

Because he’s not really a killer!

 


 

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